Interesting developments in the world of science this week:

NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ—A team of three out-of-work stem cell biologists announced Monday that, after four weeks of rigorous observation and field testing, the evidence conclusively shows that chief researcher Dr. Henry Rogers’ dog Franklin likes beer.

“We’re extremely pleased with the results of the experiment,” Rogers said. “It exceeded our highest expectations, and we’re confident that our findings will have far-reaching implications for the coming weekend.”

For the rest of this story and more, check out my favorite weekly publication, The Onion.