Alabama, You Got the Weight on Your Shoulders

SLC PunkAnyone see the movie SLC Punk, with Matthew Lillard and the amazing Christopher McDonald? It’s a very amusing day-in-the-life look at anarchic punks living in Utah in the mid-80s. The movie is narrated Ferris Bueller-style, with Stevo breaking the 4th wall whenever he pleases. One of my favorite anecdotes from the movie comes from one of his asides about the state of beer in Utah.

“Beer in supermarkets in Utah is weak, 3 points instead of the normal 6 points of alcohol. It’s the religious influence, and a pain in the ass. Now to me, it makes no sense. If you’ve got alcohol, you’ve got alcohol. So why 3 instead of 6? You know a drunk’s just going to drink twice as many beers to get drunk, so you not only have a drunk on your hands, you have a drunk who’s fat and gross. There’s nothing worse.”

In order to get decent quaff for their upcoming party, Stevo and friends go on a beer pilgrimage to Wyoming. You gotta admire that type of dedication; roadtripping across state lines to buy beer. But I guess that’s what I would do if I was living in Utah, where the liquor laws are so effed up.

Believe it or not, things are even worse in Alabama. Currently, it is illegal to buy or sell beer that is

  1. Over 6% alcohol
  2. In a container larger than 16 oz.

This is pure insanity. Luckily I live in California, far enough removed from the midwest that I don’t have to care, but if I lived in Alabama, I would be outraged. OUTRAGED.

The most maddening part? Wine and liquor face none of the same restrictions. Is this some sort of conspiracy between the Top Three breweries to keep Alabama drinking watery, fizzy yellow beer? I don’t understand, and I’m not sure I want to. But if you want answers, take a look at this history of beer in Alabama.

If this subject really fires you up, Jay at Brookston Beer Bulletin wrote an excellent article about the Free The Hops movement, and current legislation trying to fix things.

Bruno was right, Alabama is the gayest part of America!

Bruno Goes to Alabama

The Great Outdoors

Haven’t been camping in a long while, but I am going up to Sycamore Canyon for a couple days. I can’t remember how long it’s been since I’ve gone a day without a computer. I’m ready for some biking, surfing, and of course beer drinking.

Beers that are going with me:

  • Quilmes
  • Shiner Bock
  • Rogue Dead Guy (thanks to Andrew, Trace, and Bob for the rec)
  • Firestone Double Barrel
  • Hacker-Schorr Hefeweizen
  • and I might pick up some Tecate on the way

Wooooo, spring break 2007! Haha. Be back on Thursday.

Cheers.

Samuel Smith Organically Produced Ale

Samuel Smith Organically Produced AleI’ve tried his Oatmeal Stout and his Nut Brown Ale, but Samuel Smith Organic was something I had never seen before. I came across it one day at The Farms, a charming mom & pop grocery/deli on Montana (they make incredible sandwiches by the way). A 550mL bottle set me back 4 bucks.

The beer poured a gorgeous copper orange. Diminishing head, fruity/citrus aroma. Low carbonation. Interesting flavor, with a hint of orange or maybe banana, but overall malty. Its a little tart, almost like a Belgian but not the same bite to it. Overall, a very enjoyable beer.

  • Appearance: 2.5/3
  • Aroma: 10.5/12
  • Palate: 2.5/5
  • Flavor: 18/20
  • Overall: 8.5/10

Rating: 4.2

Shipyard Export Ale

Shipyard Export AleTo cap off the evening at FO, I tried the Shipyard Export Ale. This was up on their chalkboard under a header that said something like, “Feeling Adventurous?” or something like that. The blurb read, “Buttermilk Biscuit w/ a tangy finish.” Sold.

This beer poured out a golden blonde. Mostly diminishing, slight lacing, and almost no bubbles. It had a lemony taste. The carbonation was thin, and it definitely a tangy finish, but I couldn’t find the Buttermilk Biscuits. If anything, it was a slightly breadish taste more than a bisquity taste. Not what I expected, but still a tasty beer.

  • Appearance: 2/3
  • Aroma: 9/12
  • Palate: 3.5/5
  • Flavor: 15.5/20
  • Overall: 7.5/10

Rating: 3.75

Young’s Oatmeal Stout

After that Rogue Hazelnut Brown, this stout was a welcome relief. It arrived with a huge, thick, light red head. There was great lacing all the way up the glass. The aroma was smokey, with a toasted taste that reminded me of burning mesquite. Young Oatmeal Stout has a medium body, with a well-rounded mouthfeel. There is a slight Guinness-type bitterness on the back of your tongue, with an almost clean finish.

Young’s Oatmeal Stout

  • Appearance: 2.5/3
  • Aroma: 8/12
  • Palate: 3.5/5
  • Flavor: 16/20
  • Overall: 8/10

Rating: 3.8

Rogue Hazelnut Brown

Rogue Hazelnut BrownOK, I had much higher hope for this beer, because I generally enjoy Brown ales, and Rogue is a well-respected brewer. But last week at Father’s Office, the Hazelnut Brown was definitely not living up to expectations. Poured a dark dark brown, like diet coke or something. Fully diminishing head, and not the greatest smell. In fact, a very odd smell.

Melissa had a Young Oatmeal Stout in front of her, which looked much more appealing. We traded glasses, she took a whiff, and then hit the nail right on the head.

“This smells sour, like turned milk.”

My God she’s right. It smelled (and tasted) like milk gone bad. Disgusting. I wasn’t sure if that was the way it was supposed to taste or if it was a problem with the tap. In retrospect, I should have sent it back. But I just kept on taking sips, trying to find its redeeming qualities. After half a pint it was a lost cause, and I was very disappointed. We ended up leaving it on the bar, still half full.

As bad as it was, this is a beer I will try again. It makes no sense for a beer to taste this bad, there had to be some sort of contamination between the brewery and my glass.

Update: Rating has been removed. This deserves a do-over. Right after I do the write ups for Dead Guy and American Amber. Mmmmmm.

Fischer Amber

Fischer AmberAlright, I’ve been filling up my notebook faster than I’ve been writing posts, so it’s time for me to 23 skidoo you some reviews. Hate to do it, but yeah, I’ve got to zippity-do-da you some reviews.

Next week I think I’m going to get into mainstream beers. I just realized, I’ve sorta been alienating a lot of potential readers with a bevy of beers they’ve never heard of. So next week I think I’ll do some of the solid, go-to beers like Newcastle, Red Stripe, perhaps even Corona? I’m talking about stuff you can buy at your local gas station. ON TO THE BEER.

Fischer Amber is solid. I’ve had it a few times, way before I even came up with the idea for this site. It comes in a Grolsch-like bottle (except brown instead of green) and I have been saving the empties up to use for bottling once I finally start brewing my own beer.

Fischer pours a cloudy brown. Medium bubbles, OK head. Good malty smell, and fragrant hops, but I can’t quite put my finger on the smell. Not the greatest body, a bit too much carbonation on the tip of my tongue and lips. It seems a bit thin or watery, but what it lacks in texture it makes up with flavor.

A tad sweet at first, the middle is almost sour, with a lightly bitter finish. At $3.99 for a 22 oz. bottle, it’s a bit expensive for what it is, but definitely worth a try.

  • Appearance: 1.5/3
  • Aroma: 9/12
  • Palate: 2/5
  • Flavor: 16/20
  • Overall: 7/10

Rating: 3.55